God bless youyou’re soooo good lookin’!
Their engagement and subsequent mutual breakup both happen for the same reason: each is exactly like the other.
Jerry: No, no, this woman is different. She’s incredible. She’s just like me. She talks like me. She acts like me. She even orders cereal in a restaurant. We even have the same initials… Wait a minute, I just realized what’s going on.
Jerry: Now I know what I’ve been looking for all these years… Myself! I’ve been waiting for me to come along! And now I’ve swept myself off my feet!
Pimple Popper, MD
Jerry: She spent an hour and a half making me feel like if I don’t save lives, I’m worthless.
Elaine: Well, ya know, she’s very focused. Dermatology is her life.
Elaine: Yes. She’s a dermatologist.
Jerry: Saving lives? The whole profession is “eh, just put some aloe on it.”
While dating Elaine’s roommate Tina, Kramer spends his time at their apartment making African food, dancing half-naked in a towel, shattering a coffee table he made from a windshield, and walking into Elaine’s room—seeing her naked.
Elaine: I could really live without the tribal music and the make-out sessions in the living room.
Kramer: Yeah, Tina likes the couch.
Elaine is increasingly confused about whether Darryl is black or white, until he refers to them as an interracial couple (which he only says because he was convinced Elaine was Hispanic).
Darryl: So we’re just… a couple of white people?
Elaine: I guess.
Elaine: Yeah… So do you wanna go to The Gap?
Kramer has an itch on his back (from watching TV shirtless, on a couch cushion that didn’t have any fabric on it), and the only relief he can find is in Olive’s fingernails. The relationship ends, however, once Kramer loses the itch.
Kramer: You guys oughta see how she works her nails across my back. Oooh! She’s a maestro… The criss-cross. The figure eight. Strummin’ the old banjo. And this wild savage free-for-all, where anything can happen.
George dates, in Kramer’s words, a “lady Jerry.”
George: Kramer, what are you talking about? Janet doesn’t look anything like Jerry.
Janet: Well, maybe we do look a little like each other.
George. No. What do you know about what you look like?
Kramer: C‘mon, George, relax. Just because they look alike doesn’t mean you’re secretly in love with Jerry.
Jerry goes on a blind date with Donna (because he loves Chinese women), only to find out she isn’t actually Chinese. Her original last name—according to Donna—was Changstein.
Jerry: It’s false advertising, see? And the thing is, I think she likes people thinking she’s Chinese. She suggests Chinese food, she always introduces herself as Donna Chang…
Elaine: So then why are you seeing her again?
Jerry: Well, she is a woman.
Without realizing it (because Leslie is such a low-talker), Jerry agrees to wear her puffy shirt on The Today Show to promote a benefit for Goodwill.
Jerry: Look, it’s not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What’s the difference? I agreed to wear it. It’s a puffy shirt, I feel ridiculous in it, and I think it’s the stupidest shirt I’ve ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie (off-camera): You BASTARD!
Bryant: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.