1. Sidra (Teri Hatcher) → The Implant Sidra: And by the way, they’re real—and they’re spectacular.

    Sidra (Teri Hatcher) → The Implant

    Sidra: And by the way, they’re real—and they’re spectacular.

  2. Brett (James Patrick Stuart) → The Checks Jerry: So when do I meet this jerk? Elaine: He’s not a jerk, Jer. He only works with Karl Farbman. Jerry: Who? Elaine: I dunno, some designer. Anyway, Brett is so generous, and sensitive. Last night he was moved just listening to a song. Jerry: What song? Elaine: Desperado. Jerry: Desperado? Elaine: Uh huh. Jerry: And you’re still dating him? I’ll tell ya who sounds a little desperado.

    Brett (James Patrick Stuart) → The Checks

    Jerry: So when do I meet this jerk?

    Elaine: He’s not a jerk, Jer. He only works with Karl Farbman.

    Jerry: Who?

    Elaine: I dunno, some designer. Anyway, Brett is so generous, and sensitive. Last night he was moved just listening to a song.

    Jerry: What song?

    Elaine: Desperado.

    Jerry: Desperado?

    Elaine: Uh huh.

    Jerry: And you’re still dating him? I’ll tell ya who sounds a little desperado.

  3. Like a Phoenix, Rising from Arizona!

    Hel-loooo Datablr followers. Though this hasn’t been updated in quite a while, it still gets a pretty decent amount of traction, which is definitely reason enough to get it goin’ again. So expect new Dateables soon… very soon.

  4. Todd Gack (John D’Aquino) → The Calzone Todd finds ways of dating Elaine without actually asking her out. He makes a bet with her, for example, that Dustin Hoffman was in “Star Wars.” He lost the bet, so he had to buy her dinner. (Richard M. Nixon’s middle initial didn’t stand for Moe, either.) Jerry: What kind of name is Todd Gack, anyway? Elaine: I think it’s Dutch.

    Todd Gack (John D’Aquino) → The Calzone

    Todd finds ways of dating Elaine without actually asking her out. He makes a bet with her, for example, that Dustin Hoffman was in “Star Wars.” He lost the bet, so he had to buy her dinner. (Richard M. Nixon’s middle initial didn’t stand for Moe, either.)

    Jerry: What kind of name is Todd Gack, anyway?

    Elaine: I think it’s Dutch.

  5. Connie (Lisa Arch) → The Friars Club Kramer: She tried to kill me, Jerry! Jerry: Who? Kramer: Connie! Jerry: What’d she do? Kramer: I don’t know! But I woke up in the Hudson River in a sack! I think she drugged me, but she’s a murderer and I’m calling the cops. Jerry: Why would she try and kill you? Kramer: Well, isn’t it obvious? She doesn’t want anybody else to have me!

    Connie (Lisa Arch) → The Friars Club

    Kramer: She tried to kill me, Jerry!

    Jerry: Who?

    Kramer: Connie!

    Jerry: What’d she do?

    Kramer: I don’t know! But I woke up in the Hudson River in a sack! I think she drugged me, but she’s a murderer and I’m calling the cops.

    Jerry: Why would she try and kill you?

    Kramer: Well, isn’t it obvious? She doesn’t want anybody else to have me!

  6. Bob “Maestro” Cobb (Mark Metcalf) → The Maestro, The Doll Do not: call him Bob. It’s Maestro. He is a conductor, you know. even think about looking for a place like the one he has in Tuscany. There’s really nothing available. It’s booked… booked solid.

    Bob “Maestro” Cobb (Mark Metcalf) → The Maestro, The Doll

    Do not:

    • call him Bob. It’s Maestro. He is a conductor, you know.
    • even think about looking for a place like the one he has in Tuscany. There’s really nothing available. It’s booked… booked solid.

  7. Jane (Jami Gertz) → The Stall She didn’t have a square to spare. She couldn’t spare a square.

    Jane (Jami Gertz) → The Stall

    She didn’t have a square to spare. She couldn’t spare a square.

  8. Marisa (Tomei) → The Cadillac George finds out that a friend of Elaine’s is friends with Marisa Tomei, and also knows that Marisa likes short, quirky, bald men. After having a very smooth phone call with her (a great feat for George), he meets her, woos her with the positive value of the word “manure,” but things turn sour when he admits to her that he’s engaged.  George: …So, anyway, if you think about it, manure is not really that bad a word. I mean, it’s ‘newer,’ which is good, and a ‘ma’ in front of it, which is also good. Ma-newer, right? Marisa: You’re so right. I never thought of it like that. Manure — ‘Ma’ and the ‘newer.’ Did you just make that up? George: What, you think I’m doing material here? Marisa: No, no… It’s hard to believe anyone could be so spontaneously funny.

    Marisa (Tomei) → The Cadillac

    George finds out that a friend of Elaine’s is friends with Marisa Tomei, and also knows that Marisa likes short, quirky, bald men. After having a very smooth phone call with her (a great feat for George), he meets her, woos her with the positive value of the word “manure,” but things turn sour when he admits to her that he’s engaged. 

    George: …So, anyway, if you think about it, manure is not really that bad a word. I mean, it’s ‘newer,’ which is good, and a ‘ma’ in front of it, which is also good. Ma-newer, right?

    Marisa: You’re so right. I never thought of it like that. Manure — ‘Ma’ and the ‘newer.’ Did you just make that up?

    George: What, you think I’m doing material here?

    Marisa: No, no… It’s hard to believe anyone could be so spontaneously funny.

  9. Tony (Dan Cortese) → The Stall Elaine’s mimbo and George’s man-crush. Tony: So I said, “Hey dude, you better step off.” George: “Step off”?! Tony: Yeah. George: Wow, that is too much.

    Tony (Dan Cortese) → The Stall

    Elaine’s mimbo and George’s man-crush.

    Tony: So I said, “Hey dude, you better step off.”

    George: “Step off”?!

    Tony: Yeah.

    George: Wow, that is too much.

  10. Owen (Edward Penn) → The Alternate Side Though Elaine initially admires her boyfriend (a 66-year-old author), she grows tired of being around him and decides to break up with him. Before she has a chance to do it, however, Owen suffers a stroke.  Elaine: I am in awe of his intellect. When he talks, it sounds like he’s reading from one of his novels. Jerry: Owen March… I’ve never heard of him. Elaine: Well, he’s not a baseball player.

    Owen (Edward Penn) → The Alternate Side

    Though Elaine initially admires her boyfriend (a 66-year-old author), she grows tired of being around him and decides to break up with him. Before she has a chance to do it, however, Owen suffers a stroke. 

    Elaine: I am in awe of his intellect. When he talks, it sounds like he’s reading from one of his novels.

    Jerry: Owen March… I’ve never heard of him.

    Elaine: Well, he’s not a baseball player.